Photo by Julian Larcher on Unsplash
Some families require constant moving, whether it’s to cater to job demands or the availability of better housing allocations. For them, helping children settle and adapt need the most crucial attention. How do they do it?
If there’s anything children need the most during their developmental stages, it’s consistency. It helps their young minds set expectations and boundaries, allowing them to control what they can, given their limitations. Unlike adults who can adequately manage and react to whatever changes, children are yet to learn this flexibility. When there’s constant uncertainty about what their days might bring and how they’ll manage, consistency provides a sense of security.
However, between their academic needs and physiological necessities, parents juggle a lot to provide for their children during this crucial period. It’s no question and with no fault of their own that providing consistency becomes the least of their concerns. Not to mention how consequences of the lack thereof don’t evidently or immediately manifest in children.
Hence, consistency becomes something parents don’t actively think about, despite its crucial influence on their growth.
A Common Challenge Concerning Consistency
13% of American families move yearly. It can be stressful for adults who need to plan and pack everything, but for children, this can turn their worlds upside-down.
One of the most common ways their sense of consistency is challenged happens when their families move. Although they might not have fully developed awareness of their surroundings, children already have the tiniest inkling and familiarity with the environment they’ve grown accustomed to. Similar to how it was when they’ve just been born, children take a lot of time to adjust to new surroundings. And when they move from one house to another, this process restarts their brain from scratch.
Regardless of the distance incurred, moving houses is a tumultuous time.
It might look like children are going with the flow on a day-to-day basis, and for the most time, they might be unfazed by these changes. But moving somewhere completely unfamiliar will harm their well-being. With the sudden disruption of their normalcy, moving homes may be confusing and stressful for young minds. Whether settling in a new bedroom or making new friends at their new school, moving for children is as challenging and taxing as it is for adults.
Hence, helping children settle must always be included in parents’ to-do lists.
Helping Children Settle in New Environments Made Easy
Author Ruthanne Nopson has shared a pinch of her childhood connected with moving. She shared that when her family was constantly on the move, like any child, the process took a toll on her. But she didn’t let it impact her massively. Something parents shouldn’t allow to happen throughout this process. To cope with the hectic changes and chaos, Ruthanne preoccupied herself with reading. Whether it’s for pure entertainment or as a means of escape from her ever-changing environment, books became her best friends and companions.
How easy it was for Ruthanne to adjust can apply to every child that needs coping.
Ease the News in to Ease the Impact
Before the planning and packing, helping children settle into a new environment starts with a thorough discussion. Parents must let their children know about moving as soon as it is finalized. Most often skip this part of the process, thinking it might delay the process given they’d have to give time for the children’s acceptance. However, surprising them might even have a more negative impact.
Talking about moving also allows children to talk about their emotions, helping parents deal with these later on. Between missing their friends and the comfort their bedroom brings, children can be sad about many things. By discussing the process with them, parents will know what specific advice to provide in addressing their emotions.
Helping children settle isn’t simply about bringing their things from one place to another. It also includes addressing their emotions and helping them sort these out.
Easing in the Changes After the Move
Once the discussion and the moving have been done, it’s time to address the challenges that might arise after the move. Settling into the new house requires more than unpacking and cleaning, which often is the focus of every parent. They can be too neck deep in opening boxes and arranging things they fail to see how their children are doing emotionally.
Helping children settle with ease can be done by celebrating the new environment. This makes everything more manageable for children. A new surrounding can easily pose as dangerous when they don’t know what they can or can’t do. Using a celebration to introduce the new space to children can ease their worries and make the place friendlier.
If they’re not happy or in the mood during this celebration, parents must allow them to be.
Helping children settle in new environments means validating every emotion they will be going through during the process. Instead of reprimanding them for their “rude” behavior, it’s high time for parents to be sensitive and put themselves in their children’s shoes. It will never be easy transitioning into a new place, especially for children who can be territorial. Parents must recognize this fear and help them cope with it.
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